The Heart of Mine Read online

  This Heart of Mine

  Amanda Bennett

  Check out other books by Amanda Bennett

  Time To Let Go

  Beautifully Broken (The Broken Series #1)

  Breaking Beautiful (The Broken Series #2)

  Misguided Heart

  This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

  This Trust of Mine (Raine Series #3)

  Coming Soon

  Unbreakable Hearts (The Broken Series #3 novella) AUGUST 2013

  Faithless SEPTEMBER 2013

  (All dates are subject to change)

  You can find Author Amanda Bennett at the following:

  www.authoramandabennett.com

  www.facebook.com/authoramandabennett

  www.twitter.com/spoiledbrat81

  www.goodreads.com/author/show/6550967.Amanda_Bennett

  This book is dedicated to every person who has ever fallen in love. It's a magical thing when your heart finds the one it is meant to be with.

  “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

  ― Mae West

  A huge thanks to my editor, Cami Krystyniak and ultimately one of the best friends a girl could ask for. Without all your hard work and tireless hours of motivation, I could have possibly given up. You push me to my limits and I can't thank you enough for that.

  Thank you to my husband Zach. Without your undying love and support, I would go insane. Your patience and help with the kids is more than enough to make you "Man of the Year," I love you with all of my heart.

  To my #1 fan, amazing blogger and blog tour host Tamsyn Bester, thank you a million times over. I'm so happy to call you my friend.

  A Special thanks to:

  Jenn Foor (Author) Rebecca Donovan (Author) Robin Harper (Cover Artist)

  Thank you for your support and kindness.

  Thank you to all of the new and wonderful friends I have made on Twitter, FaceBook, and Goodreads. Y'all are amazingly supportive and I enjoy what I do because of all of you.

  A big shout out and Thank You to The Rock Stars of Romance, y'all rock!!

  Thank you to all the bloggers that have helped spread the word, review my work, repost my millions of posts and that have enjoyed my work enough to share with others. You all are amazing and wonderful people who genuinely support all of us Indie authors.

  Thank you to my beta readers and some of the most honest people I know, Cami, Mechelle, Ena and of course Tamsyn.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1

  Madison

  At least a million faces pass by me in a blur. My eyes are glossed over and I honestly couldn't tell you what any one person has said to me. I can feel Kayla's warm hand nestled in the crook of my arm, and I find it to be the only reassuring thing. A sea of black moving in slow motion is the only thing my eyes can stay concentrated on. I want to be brave and hold steady for my grandmother, I do, but I just can't find an ounce of energy to deal with anything today.

  I stood staring aimlessly into a house full of people, when I felt someone tugging at my arm. I'm not sure if it is Kayla or my grandmother, because honestly I couldn't bring myself to turn and acknowledge the person. After a few more insistent shakes, I finally turned in the direction from which it was coming. A man stood in front of me, a man that I never thought in a million years I would ever see again.

  "I'm sorry for your loss, son."

  His voice hits a nerve deep inside of me that I had kept buried for what felt like an eternity. In my grieving haze, I gently removed Kayla's hand and took a step closer to the son of a bitch standing in front of me. All I hear are gasps and cries, as I cock back my fist and lay it right into the side of his jaw. I instantly feel and hear the cracking and popping of bones underneath my clenched fist, but I can't find it in myself to feel sorry.

  I watch as his lifeless body falls to the wood floor beneath me. He lay there unmoving, but I could see his chest moving in a rhythmic motion, so I knew he would live. Not that he gave any indication that he cared whether or not I did when he went away, but to each his own.

  I instantly turn and make my way out the back door. Before I realize what it is I'm escapin', I find myself in a full on sprint headin' in the direction of the only place I ever feel calm and collected. The only place I can still feel him around me. As I'm runnin', I find myself discarding my jacket and loosening my tie in one swift motion. When I come up to the faded red structure, I lean against it trying to catch the breath that has quickly left my lungs. As I revel in the burn of each breath, a stray tear rolls down my cheek, landing on the toe of my dress shoes.

  I plop my worn out body onto the ground, pulling my legs up to my chest. As I lean my head back against the splintered wood on the outside of the barn, I feel a cold hand wipe away another tear that has found its escape.

  "Are you okay?"

  I hear the voice and know exactly who it belongs to, but I just can't find the words to answer her. I'm not ready for all of this. I'm not ready to be an adult and deal with losing the only man who ever taught me how to be, a man.

  "Madison?" Her hand slips into mine and I look down at them as our fingers intertwine with one another's.

  Without sayin' a word, I shake my head, silently pleadin' with her to just let me be for a minute.

  "I'll leave you be. I'll come check on ya in a bit."

  As she pushed herself up from my side, I quickly clutch her arm in my hand. I can't stand to be this way towards her and it's not fair. I need her, I really do, but how do you explain the feelings that come along with seein' someone you never thought you would ever see again, and right after your grandfather passes?

  "I'm...I'm sorry pretty girl, don't leave." I croaked out.

  I push my hands back through my hair and drag them down my face while letting out a loud huff. As she sits next to me, I suddenly feel the need to have her as close to me as I can possibly get her. I pull her onto my lap in one fluid motion, and bury my head in her heaving chest. She runs her fingers through my hair and down my back in a soothing motion and before I know it, the sun is starting to set.

  I'm not sure at this point, how long we've been out here, but my heart has started feelin' a little bit lighter, and I know it's because of this amazing girl sitting on my lap.

  "I'm gonna guess that was your father?" Her voice is gentle and soothing and as much as I want to respond to her, I can only nod my head. "I'm so sorry Madison."

  I pull her into a deep hug and place a featherlike kiss to her collarbone. I hadn't been able to pay much attention earlier, but Kayla looks absolutely stunning today. I know it sounds like a crass thing to say at my grandfather's wake, but she's absolutely glowing, and I can't help but wonder how I couldn't have noticed?

  "You look beautiful." I whisper just below her earlobe and I can feel the goose bumps break out across her skin underneath my touch. I will never get sick of the way her body reacts to me, and mine to hers for that matter.

&nbs
p; "Thanks, cowboy."

  Her voice is melodic and exactly what I need to hear to calm my nerves. I'm not sure what awaits me back at the house, but I guess now is as good a time as any to find out.

  "Walk back with me?" She simply nods her head and stands to help me up. I expected to have to gather my jacket on our way back, but it is lying neatly folded on the ground in front of us and I can't help but smile knowin' that she never hesitates to take care of me.

  I drape my arm across her shoulders as we start makin' our way back to the house. When the back porch light comes into view, I can't help but tense when I see the man standin' underneath it. My steps falter beneath me, and as Kayla struggles to keep us standing, I let out a small laugh. I look down into her piercing blue eyes and plant a long drawn out kiss against her lips. Just as my foot reaches the first step to go onto the porch, I find myself stopping. I held Kayla tight to my side and let every thought come flyin' outta my mouth.

  "I'm not exactly sure what you're doin' here, but no one needs you. How dare you come into my grandfather's house, on this day, and think that you should be received any different than how you were. Nobody wants you here, so you may as well just leave, now." Adrenaline is coursing through my veins at an exceedingly fast rate and I'm afraid that any moment now, I will just attack him.

  I watch him intently as he opens his mouth to speak, but his words aren't the next ones I hear.

  "Mr. Raine, with all do respect, I think maybe it's time for you to leave." Her voice never waivers and if I didn't know the soft side of her, I myself, would be runnin' for the hills.

  "With all do respect little lady, this has absolutely nothin' to do with you. So if you'll excuse yourself and be on your little way, then my son and I can have a conversation that is well overdue."

  My eyes went wide, as the words that just came out of his mouth sink in. Within seconds, a million things happen all at once. I felt Kayla tense underneath me just as I lunge at my father. We both fall to the ground with a loud thud and I'm sittin' on top of him, layin' into him. Holding absolutely nothin' back!

  "No one EVER speaks to my girl that way. You got me asshole?" I would've kept at it, but just as I cocked back to let loose on him again, two strong arms slide under mine and drag me off of him.

  "Let it go, bro." Glenn's voice is the only thing I can hear as my father stands up, spitting blood at my feet.

  "Looks like your grandfather didn't quite raise ya right. You're still just a punk ass kid."

  I struggle in Glenn's grasp, tryin' to get at him again for disrespecting the man who practically raised me, when Glenn's voice breaks through the commotion.

  "Sir, I have no problem layin' you out, so you best get the fuck off of Mrs. Raine's property."

  My father stood an inch away from Glenn's face and mine, straightening his suit jacket. "What are you gonna do? I always knew you would be a bad influence on my boy."

  "I'm only gonna tell ya one more time, sir. GET.THE.FUCK.OUT."

  As he finally takes the hint and walks down around the side of the house, Glenn finally let go of his Thor-like grip on me. I stood and brushed off my shirt before searching for Kayla in the sea of people that had conjured out onto the porch to witness the fight between father and son. I finally caught sight of her tucked into Cami's side. I pushed my way through the crowd and straight for her. I pulled her into my arms and gave her a tight squeeze.

  "I'm so sorry pretty girl. I'm so sorry."

  "Don't be. Now I understand why you talk about him the way you do."

  My lips fell to the top of her head, planting a small kiss on her hair. I wave everybody off and head back inside. The only man who could do such a hateful thing had, now tarnished a day that was intended to honor my grandfather’s life. I guided Kayla through the back door and noticed my grandmother standin' over by the coffee pot. It never even dawned on me how she would take seein' her only son after all these years. I gently pushed Kayla towards Glenn and Cami, before making my way over to my grandmother.

  All I could do was hug her close to me. There were no words that could make up for the scene that my father and I had created, and apologies just seemed to not matter. As I placed a chaste kiss to her cheek, she looked up and smiled.

  "You're a good boy Madison Raine. Don't you ever let that man tell you any different."

  I simply nodded as I placed my chin on the top of her head. There was no way I was letting that man back in my life, ever!

  Chapter 2

  Kayla

  With all the happenings of today, I never got around to telling Madison what I had been dealing with all day. When I looked down at that small white and pink stick, I never in a million years expected it to be positive, but low and behold, it was. I can't explain the wave of emotions that instantly washed over me, and even continued to at this minute. The better part of me was elated and still was. Just knowing that I had a small piece of Madison and me growin' inside me, made my heart lighter than it has ever been.

  The other side of me was white as a ghost, sitting in the corner hyperventilating. I mean, I'm only seventeen almost eighteen, but a teenager regardless. I didn't know the first thing about raising a baby and I was pretty sure that Madison was goin' to shit a brick when I told him.

  The day of his grandfather's funeral wasn't the day to tell him that his future was changing in a matter of months. Shit! I had totally forgotten about the record deal. Of course, the decision was up in the air at the moment, due to the sad loss of Madison's granddad, but what was I going to do if he decided to go? This had been my biggest fear from the start. I never wanted him to have to give up anything to be with me. I wanted him to have it all.

  I knew Madison well enough to know, that he would never do anything he didn't want to do, but I also knew how much he loved me and would do anything for me. My head and heart were bein' pulled in a million different directions and I felt as though I was being torn in two.

  I caught a glimpse of Cami and Glenn out of the corner of my eye, and couldn't help but smile. She was sittin' on his lap laughing at some ridiculous joke that he had just told her. At that very instant, I found myself jealous of what they had. I knew I had it just as good, but there were days when I wondered when it would all come crashing down around me. Just as I felt a stray tear slide down my cheek, a warm hand appeared, wiping it away. When I turned, Madison was pulling me onto his lap and smiling.

  "What's wrong, pretty girl? You know I don't like seein' ya cry?"

  Was he for real? Today of all days, he was worried about me, when I should be the one worried about him.

  "I'm okay. It's just a sad day. Your granddad was such an amazing man. It's sad that he's gone." Madison's face fell as his smile disappeared. I ran the back of my hand down his cheek and instantly regretted even bringing it up. "I'm sorry, cowboy."

  "For what? It's not your fault. It is what it is, I suppose. Thank you for bein' here."

  "There's nowhere else I would rather be. You know that, right?"

  His frown was replaced with that mega watt smile and I couldn't help but smile right along with him. I gently pressed my lips against his and sucked in a large breath. Regardless of how I felt, Madison was going to make an amazing father. I just knew deep down, that he would try his damnedest to be everything his father wasn't. This baby growing inside of me was one lucky little boy or girl.

  We all hung out on the couch watching random movies on the television. I lay unmoving in Madison's arms that were securely wrapped around me. In that very instant, I realized that I never wanted to leave his embrace. I wanted to stay just like this for as long as possible. Apparently, that was too much to ask. Seconds later, Madison's phone started ringing nonstop. He tried to ignore it as long as he could, until I finally nudged him. He gave a roll of his eyes when he saw who it was calling, but I urged him to answer anyway.

  "Hello?"

  I couldn't hear Joey on the other line, but by Madison's reaction I could tell it wasn't anything good. Every muscle i
n his body flexed and tightened under my hand. I could feel the anger radiating off of him and transferring onto me. My body stiffened in response to his anger and I could feel myself getting closer to ripping that stupid phone out of his hand.

  "Yeah, I hear ya. Thanks, man. I owe you, I guess."

  The screen on his phone went black as his knuckles turned white underneath his tight grip. "What did he say?"

  "Nothing of importance. Kayla, I think I should probably head up to bed. Glenn can you make sure the girls get home?"

  "Yeah, bro. Of course."

  I shot up into a standing position right in front of Madison, demanding answers. "You better plan on tellin' me what the hell is goin' on?"

  "Tomorrow, pretty girl. I promise."

  His hands gripped around my shoulders tightly before planting a kiss to the top of my head and releasing me. Before I could get in a word edge wise, he was gone. I turned towards Cami, who could sense my breakdown coming on. She quickly rushed to my side, waving off Glenn when he tried to ask what was goin' on.

  "Take me home please." I whispered into her hair as she held me tightly against her small body.

  "Of course."

  She quickly let Glenn know that she would walk me home. Glenn of course tried to protest, but what Cami wanted, she usually got. We made our way out the back door and in the direction of my house. I glanced back over my shoulder and up at Madison's window. I caught sight of his shadow in the small window above his bed, but as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared.

  When we reached my backdoor, my grandmother and grandfather sat on the porch awaiting my arrival. I gave a halfhearted smile and proceeded inside. I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, especially not my overbearing grandparents. I needed to be alone to digest all the events of the last week, but most of all, I needed sleep.

  Chapter 3

  Madison

  I found myself pressing my hands against the cool glass on my window as I watched her and Cami walking by. I could feel her pull to me. I could feel her heart hurting for me, just as my heart hurt for her. When she glanced up at me, I quickly turned off my light and settled in for a long nights rest.